bodoh eh org yg suke buat ppn mcm taik.......

sometime good looking guy are bad , nieither are the not good looking guy. so what's the point if falling and they will just hurt you anywy...
they said they are not lke the rest but the colour will show after amonth. hais.








dia pernah berkata ya dia tak sama mcm lelaki yg kat luar tu , tapy aper, btul tak hes just thesame mcm lelaki haram pat luar. after our first date bile dah balik , our convantion are super dammm freaking cold! if our convation is alr cold , what more do i need to expect. 
its like feelings for me change.. i fall too easy. kalau dia dah nak hilangkan diri mcm gini aku takboleh stop dia  .. sbb i cant force him to stay if he dunwant to make effort to stay. asin our first convo i alr said i dunwant to invole any relatioship. but endup i fall . i fall but he was never ther to catch me. dgn kebodohan aku , terima kau seada nye tapy aper , 
itu semua masuk tohsampah , tak guna aku nak petahan kan feeling aku pada kau. i just have to accpt the fact that kau tak layak utk jage aku dan lembut haty aku...
sangup eh kau buat ni semua pada aku.. takpe lets face the pricinper that tak heran ku tglkamaku sbb ahde lagy byk yg masih nak kan aku. 
terimakasih atas kau punye kesbran dan kesumernye.......

oh sayang.....

oh hello sayang..
2013 is almost over. we not being meeting eachother. yep busy with our life , and I have so many thing that I cant fulfil , like when you free I, not, and when im free you not. I mean I really miss you... we sure will catch up with eachother , isyallah , when both of us are really free..., cause I cant bear missing you so much. you will always know that I will always love you endleesly. ;')
aper azam tahun baru you ini.. kalau ai , I nak work much hard nextyear and save duit. nak kawin. haha mcm phm. but yeahh.. must really achive what I need , get a good career and so on . I will always love yu sayangg.... :)

those thing happen for the year 2013 ;')

helloooo... ;)
how should i start... 2013 is almost over!!!
idont what i do good this year.. ahde yg patah seribu...
lost a dad on june. worse feeling ever. regret it causse never see hym for his last bearh yes ikut kan aku punye penat... hais. 




so nearly what happen in life is being working. then nver work alr. 
everyday is a great day that happen. insyallah.. 
in this 2013 , which is coming to the end , i learn that people will always jugde you nomatter what , like what you do whatever you do that is right they always judge you. when people say dont worry they will stop talking, but i realise that they wont stop talking , almost everyday i cry to home.. but what i can do is just kept quite.and still its just hit me. and so i just gave up. cause i just cant stand it. 
in life i realise that you cant fall for someone who just wont catch you. they only say but they never catch yu. and when someone get close with yu and out of a sudden he leave just like that without tell.ing.. 
i really dont know what a year i had this year. why cant i be like other or guys like takpe aku buat pakai kau je , no feeling for eachother. 
just keep that thought la. 

next year i nak work hard save money...nak kawin.. ahhahhhh taklah.... o

)

  

00:22 sharp , 26April 2013

latenight meet rudy. di tmpt biyase. sneakout , arnd 00.22sharp. 

never get to hungout but to makeout , so no photo were taken. haish , handphone dah upgade tapy no photos together saaad right. knnninaaa cbbbbbbb btuuul ! 

but takper. just keep in mind that he own me a crazy awesome geogerus picture. uhhhyeaaaa ! 

its was really that awhile , but most importantly i got a tight hug and a wonderful kisses ofcourse!! the feelings that cant be express nor explain . tottally lovingg it . jyeahhh !!!!

i really dunknow what to say anymore. its just soo amazing. 
will always love hym deeply , and will always wait foorr hym..  i believe that he will be mine forever ! ;) 
and lastly happy birthday to rudyy. iloveyouu
alright. nights

remember im always your supergurl . iloveyou*,*

  

another blog ^^

poin by point ; selalu mcm gyner . hmmmmmm , manyyy many many i nak bilangg ,,
- but i dunknow what to say .
- rudy rudy rudy , i think he very handsome now . hah , lalala , rindu la dyer .
- rinduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu laaaaaa sumpahh ^'^
-  aku harus start mengagi soon , haish , tak rela tapy terpakse . , TAK SUKER ;@ !!
- skulah dahbis , now staying at homr. alalalalalalal .
- ke org kawin , ddk di pelamin , rase mcm nak kawin cptcpt , pakai cincin , ratai , aduuh sungguh inndaah ^.^
- tapy nomatter what im still gonna marry rudy , inshallah , amin ;')



lalalaal ! taktawu nak type aper lagy . haha
nights ! ;)

complaining ~

everyday the same thingy,
cheyy i dunknow how to start..

- mistake by mistake.
- today also kena scolding,
- counting down to end .
-










- he say relationship last long because they choose to keep it and fight for it.
but you with me , you choose to walk away . i fight for you but , you never stay .
so tell me. . . . .


- frustatatting laa.

- seriously , im just still stuck at 130512 .
how how how. ?
im still single.
ermmmmm ...




BYE !

a lovely day ;]

heylo ;D using monite
because if using phone like mink anpun
where shld i start .....
abit by bit la maybe..


- semlm with camel , leturing akuhh jek, stress la..
not forceing but telling . if telling kan not everyday taw. this is like forever..boring taww aku,.
aku tak solat ke aper ke itu antara aku dgn tuhan. akuhh tak buat salah , akuh selalu berdoa kepada allah.. akuh takpernah conplain nothing. so pls la. tatting..
then he said that , be open ; he knows i kuar with jantan , ciumcium , and maen ? excuss me !? geramm perr,,

- actually itu je akuh mapu tulis .
ohhhhhhh ! mat contton on handsome. sort of nmpk like RUDY . whoaaa ! isiz really hym ???

- i hate azri , ughh mine feeling was quite okay until justnow , he say about ifffa , then saying that i always cntct hym after wrok. aiyaa. cbb siaa.... ;'{


- i still cant believe that im single. ;'[

- i realise only pnoy ppl frendly at my work palce. haish , , , ,


alright. amqhaii disinyhe shja,,
byeee ;)

just a random one :)

guudmoning. 
okay lol. i dunknow what to post ..
using phone to update.. 
amy pakai galayx yg besar tuu. owhh..
anyway here im.. lets blogg...
meeting ruudy this sunday. i love rudy...

blablablabla !
rudy bubble me 2times.
takperlah. kalu kiyte syang kan dyer kyte just givein je.. will be waiting for his reply/update ,like when he will be frree. naaawww ! i miss hym le....



so start attachment at taka. everyday nasi ayam i guess. alaaa wont get bored one so noneed woorry.. 
i actually dunknow what to say. cause evwrything is letout at twiittr. haish.
- the other day i dreamt about wan . hahaha. selagy aku tak kasy dyer finger aku selagy tu dyer akan kuar dgnn ppn lain. weirdlah. but endofthe minpi i only slep with hym..

anyway valentineday so many couple here and ther, im at ther just countting. LOL . but whos care. i syoikj sendiri more funn

im single and noone believe. haiab.
i miss MUHAMADFARHAN :'(
HOw had he been ? when i saw guys wearing army uniform i just hope one of then shld be hym. but i just dunknoww.. imagh kalu dyer nmpk aku with skul unif cfmm he wilbe aww so opretty regert leaving. hahahahahh. but sumpah sure wont happenn
i blog using my phone somemoee.




okaaaaytbats all

been aged , i miss blogging.

heyhey.. 
 its been really awhile i never post.. i miss le. so what happpennnn ??  
haha. so remember the time i say would send a long freaking fb mgs, yea i did,,, ;') so no relpy. hais,.. now is to move on. just believe in fate. one day he just will rerget la . have tat mndseet ttat , eventually , he just gonna miss me like i do . but its too late. remmber how i used to be patinces , when all it happen just so quick. yknow how hurtful i m right now. yea , move on move on . okayyy can..
so i dah start skula. yay yay . ;'D 
i feeling feeling mcm nak give up , but nahs. just study onlyy.. 
then insha'allah, will study higher nitec in admintrative. ;))) 
i will try to update more if i can la.. ;') using new phone. so yeaaa.. ;'DD
i think that all . ohh wait one more,.. MINPI 
I DREAM of faiz , hahaha,  then i dunwan fight with hym la , then , hug hym . aww .dah ttak igt. hahah
 hahahah kayy <3333

saat di ;D

owh its raining...

baby alsam danish !

syoikk tngk tb 

two kids ;D

hello cyntaa ;'D

eheylo. im back. next post update gbr, nyh srkg i blogg duluu.. here its goes ! ~
- awesome hotel , awseome guys ( shiyol la zuraa , mat malaysia shiyal , pun boleh perr ??? ) obesse with camera , keep taking picture and roses ! 
si handsome handsome , anak pak ustaz . keep eyeing on hym , byle dyer tak nmpk. awwwwwwwww , hypergurl sgt.. 
dyer sedare jauh kush , i has a crush on hym.... 
kenaper eyh ? i selalu have those crush yg mesty related... ishh , maser tu amy . 
they too cute laa ! kkay diaammm . but still yerp , selalu taw.

-  skula dah nak startt. alhamdulilaah ! abg say , study well .
i will ! ~ 
next upload gbr. yerpyerp ! 
next blog i mean.......

I hate acting like I don't care when it's really tearing me up inside.

can i start crusing hym ???? 
im here still hurting... 
baby , i dun know how , i want it back will aie ?
 - i dream of rudy lil dirty sercet , i mean how kental or so whatever , i was there. hahaha. okaay itu sangatt pelik . its on wednesday 14 night. then today , 15 night , dreamt aboutt kak anie , dreamt about hym. how cheated he was behide me , then i was like running away. then , saw some hot cute guys. then nmpk kak anie. okaayy mcm3 actually. liddat only i remember. 
 nowday , everytime i wake up i would feel very sleepy. ermmmmm , penat , nagging everytime mum, 
  let's get what i want blog. 
 - arep if i count kan kite dah 1yr , kkay , lol , are we still? i dnknow la , and he text me for 3days thn dah stop, merepek nyh....
- faizz dunwan reply my text per , i miss you .. 
- the quetion is now , should i be waiting , or get over it ?? i dunwant say gudbye. why must you leave me hangging ? i desrerve someone better ker ? hais , is there any 3rd party ? i dn understand. im lonely. ><''
 i really cant petend anymore , that im okay wit you doing tis to me. please dont take my paticence for granted. im too emocially.. i wanna cryy la.


sudah lah , i nak start with my busyness. maybe , i gonna send mgs to his acct. tgu jek .
okaaaaaaaaaaaay . ~

Its the THIRDTEEN today....

hey. its thidteen . and arint with muhhamad farhan... sumpah i miss hym . . . 
what shld i really being doingg ? eyh , shyal la if i got tankgis alr did , find , and so on laa fuckk. . too bad i dun have any tangkis la. but shld i really do ? nak add fb dyer , or maybe just mgs only , no addding. haihs. akuh nyh masihh ppn kau ke bkn . if i can stay while yu nqh ns , why cant you do the same ? i mean like , takperlu la ahde facebook abey , status single and so on siaa. tak kelakar taww . oh my gAwrd. we are alr , 6mths. 
do slient break exsit ? i mean seriously ? nowdays , they still got those ke ? ermmmmmmm...
mcm jek nak turn him off gtuk . saying , where had you beein , do you miss me like ai do . what happen to US . trus terang jek uh . i would , maybe . i misss US ! 
you dun even text me , call me , aper nak jady . aku tawu la , kau nqh NS . aku bkn ppn yg cheap cheap la , yg kau dah puas pas tuh buang jek. eyh i got feeling too okayyy...
i dun understand. i guess i better off alne , then rathier be in someone'else life. i bosan la 
i dun understand why , i feel so haish. ppl come and go , so why bother . . 
ai so so un wanted , cheapppo sgt per . haty aysik kena sakit jekk.
byle aku syanq org tuh , dyer tgl kan aku . 
tak kelakar la. 
pikir aper senang senang kau sakit kan haty aku , mcm main game...
sumpah aku bosan dgn ini sume...
ya allah i rinduu muhammad farahan bin mohad ismail....
i wish he would miss me like i miss hym... ya tuhaannn............
i got nothing more to say now.  i also dunknow what to end off withh..
im willing to stay , why dun yu do the same huh????
listen to me. i give up. im not gponna have any relationship alr, cause its painfuuuul !!! 
maybe i will be lil more patiece , tapi jgn up up sudaah .
6mths and still counting.
i miss you muhammadfarhan </3

HI ;b

Yesterday , met faiz , went to his nephw birthday , at pasir ris . supposly , kiyte meet , bt instead asks me to come at le chalet . i say i malu , then he say alaa come only , so i did come , my first time to went pasir ris park , well , its kinda far inside , its elise road or someting lah. then onces reach , we went sit downn , for awhile , kite chill , and talk . heart to heart talk maybe. ;D 
then at le batu thr got some nmber he read out. i was say about mine , 0130512 , and i say dah hilanq, i told hym i dah taknak , in relatiosip lagy , i want kejar my career . then he kinda say maty tak kal takde mataie? and i say tak , thn , its better w/o living someone else life. yerp , actually , all i see is , wen you need someone , the only , that come only , your close friends, your speacial one wont be there. then , he say , yeap , get the picttre. ahisj , he the best one laaa. 
we didnt catupe , a pictt , intstead half jek , nnty i suree upload di twitter , stay tune ;p 
at le chalet , he intro to his sister. then sruh i makan.then he say must makan , if not changr , haaaahhhahahahahaa , aper jek . i manje gurl eyhh ~ okayokay , dah amqai malam , he intro me to his granddad , grandmum , mum , aunt . aaaahaha. am i the only gurl , he ever into to his family , i paishey taww . >.<'' then he salam his cousin , handsome , plus , one of them look like abdilah , alil alike liddat. err okayy , nak filrt ehh ? aaaahhaaah. i am not faiz teman isterimewa kind , bt im his so call bestygrlfriend wit a '' . yeapyeap., i admit la , i like his accents , but we wont be together , nooo wayyy , i dnwan ruin this lovely friendsip i have. imgh , kalu anytin appen , we wont be tis awesome alr. dnwan kaan . ~

half jek . haaaha. hie <3

one moreee. aaahaha. okaay <3

 

pssst ><''

oh i forget what to blog. being few days i want blog , but cannot . let me see , hahah.
i think its about mine mum , errrr okaay , i start skula lamabt lagy. kkay bye.
i want lose weight, alaa, fck , i want tell the world everything . bt maser tidak di izinkan , why why why.... 
i miiss muhamad farhan , haish , 
 its gonna be 4more days to our anniesarries , and still no sign of hym , last night , i berdoa , bercirter dgn tuhan , berpapah , indah nya , dpt memluarkan aper yg aty ini raser. hash , ya allah , i rindu sgt dgn dyer . haishhhh. 
kalu dyer menrindi ku mesty , akan text or call. haish ..maaf la keyboard ku rosak, 
i still missing hym. i cant get over hhymm.. i begging on your knees , i miss you !!!
im really lost. what shld i do ? 
taqper la , bkn boleh jwb pnnn...
sumpah , its really hurt to pretd im fine. like seriously i cant... 
please come back to me ? imiss yoou.

I HAD ENOUGH !

it really make me piss . i dun understand why , do you do this to me ? you look so fine without me.? i wonder this is how you hurt , me lithis .? sholdent be too patiecer to you. i shld had give up earlier. yeah , i regret much, i damm you very much.. maybe i was wrong. i didnt know it will endup lithis. maybe i wasent the gurl , your looking for. maybe i wasent good enuf ;'< i shouldent be to awesome , to enter your life. eyh , seriously , am i important ? m i your gurlfriend?  your fb really getting increse , wow , reallyh intersrting la fuuck! do you miss me like i do ? i guess no hhuh ?from le 30sept till now 30oct , no text from you . eh , kyte slient break ehy ? wtf , dah kenape. maybe we shld be just parttime , so i wont be too hurt lithis . i was wrong. im sorry. i was too exticed to gett attch to yu , bt i didnt know thT this would , happen . i really meyesal . bt how m i getting this away. im too patice to wait for you , bt this is how i get treated , cheated on my bad. ehy , i understand la , yg you NS tapy , aku inscre shey. what if you get more pretty gurl then me , then can yu anythime maen dyer . i know la , i dun give you my thigy , becase , i dnwan kena label , and lose my face. akh taknak. diri aku malu. aku bkn ppn shiyal shey. 
maybe mmg kena ginie. im better off alone. taqperlah , im not good enuf. well i know where i sttand.;'>
let me cry for the last time . take me away . let me face this alnoe. cause you dn need me. okaay . 

i gonna start a new beinning, so let's SMILE

  

26october2012 ! 
A lovely wonderful , cherish night with rudyzulfiqar .
bestgyler dgn dyer taw. he keep saying i mepek , aduh , i kena stirp , i loike, well , naghter dgn dyer jek, no others guys ;DD 
well i dnknow how to tell , many3 .. then we go on the bed, woo yea. 
then after awhile , i kena stripp , eyhh best per. 
alaaa sdahh ,, yg penting , i like barenq at his chest ;)
although he's not mine , hes still mine in my heartt. 
frthre hes mine , amin . believe in fate , allah knows my hearts <3 
sunguh awesome bersamer dyer.. 
i think byle i naek cab , when he sent me off , he say my girlfriend. 
melt truus shey. ;'D  
<333

im always yours , RUDYZULFIKAR <3

hii selamat harie rayer <33 minal adil'wafa izin <3

i mia in twiitter and so on . 
ai nqh sohey sgt , mgs mataie tapi tidak balas. kenape dyer nyh ?
ya rabbbi , kenape harus ku hadap ini sume.? 
hari rayer mgs pun tak reply, 
kenape cruel nhyy !
i rindu la , at least reply laa <'; 
shiyalan la , kalu ego , serbk ego mu , mesty ahde igt kan aku kann ? nhy tak. astazga' ! 
kau ego ke aper sia ? menagpah taw ! haishh .
taqper erra kater , just give him time, ehh , nnty dyer pergy austrli how ? haish , bby  kenape sia kau snggup wat aku brgini ?
ai always waited for a text from yu , eventhought i know its kinda hardly. ;'<  
i rydu la seriouslyy. 




today the 26/08/12 , mlm nyh , i mimpi bby, alaa i rydu la pls. then the day before i dream about i smoke again , hmm shld i like buy cigg and smoke again , entah la, nqkk la nnty yeahyeah ?
oh duit rayer i sudah hilang , kenape ini harus terjadi ? $70 sia ! fuccck la kkay. tapqer ini bkn rezeki aku utk simpah , mum sumpah2 cpk tk amikk , alaaaa , i dun trust her >< !
and tady kak'lela sekuluarga dtg , ughh amyy <3 why you so tall and hot , wo ai le !
aku aysik pandanq nya bile tidak terlihat , kamu sungguh handsome <33
and i dpt duit rayer , almost $20. boleh la tuh , ddk ruma pun dpt duit rayer. haha, abg'khai say liddat, aikk , i soo argee ;'D


hii <3 sorry keep not ulishnishing. keep on hold. 
anyway its alr 24octorber, see how fast it that ? ;'D
not really know what to blog... well everything kinda reveal at twitter. hahaha krkrik kay.
zurafarhan , we alr 5mths , and i still had not meet hym . kenaper sheyy ?
abey dah gtuk tarqper taw, i phm la, kau busy ,  tapy snggh toomchh ! then ahde facebook , what's your intention huh? m i not good enf ? haish , i dnknow why... 
rudy , dah attch shey. hmm , and yestterday he texted me , asks me out. dyer takboleh jauh kt dari aku? heheh, takla. memaen jek.. but okaylah , i play along with his game , ini sngh best , like finallly after so long...
and rudy arhu jek mataie dah ahde cincin , do you know how much painn im rightnow ? i is jeslouus ;<
mcm i never that kind of r/s before, i pun nakkk sheyy ;'< if only boyfiend akuu mcm rudyy wodent it be greatt ?? haish , kenaper la dyer uat ai mcm nie.. no call no text , its that mean we are over ? but i dunwant too , he like the great one like yeaah ;D 
what shld i do rightnow ? 
nnty org tanyer , i pretend to be single la, if with rudy soon..
okay that all . 
blogg soon <33 

please come back to me ;')

happy 18 noww ;'D

hie.. ;'D

atiq sudah fly away alr , ai cant meet hym , sort of ddady kena gy overseas. and he mad at me and maki ai atas bawah le... i kinda sad, taq pernah kena maki serabak2 nyhh, haishh... i hope he is safe at there , and always remember me here, hmm , insha'allah , he will be back nextyear on my birthday.. lamer kann . tarqper la , sbr jek iyer zuraa , if he do care he will remember me, i hope so... kalu tak , i dunknow what to do alr le.................

sleep over at sissy house on the 14july , celeb balqis and my adv bdyy . best laa. its was blast with balqis. ;'DD  its always first to everything.. ;D

text rudy , rudy , jahat , tak nak meet me , cause i still neh change. so jahat la. but tarqper , someday dyer take back his words punyer , percaya la ;')

boyfie dah masuk ns , lalala kepala botak la ... LOL . he tot ai kinda gurl , who will leave hym , and say bad things to hym , aduhh , come on uh , i m your gurlfriend le , ahsal taknak trust nyh ? alalla, tarqper , he say he will ttrust me, bgs laaa ;'D i like very long never meet hym , kiwak's rindu shiyaal ! boyfie understanding , very supportive le. dyer suruh ai take office. hmmm , then when i skulling , i will sure have more tyme for hym , alaaa , swweet kan dehkni <3 im sure , hes the only one now.. shayanq dyer okay ;> i promise will treat hym right. ;'>

i m still very firlty le. tak boleh taw , ahde mataie shey . hmmmm ><

anyways , i daaa apply for offices and beauty . harap'harap dpt. aqu bodhh la , shld had cilick for the new ite at amk , tak perasan uhh . >< .. tarqper la . hmmm >< .

gudnyte <3

insecure .

hello;p 

dunknow where to start uhh.

boyf aku dah tak text lagy, idk why

atiq , hes back , seronoh laa . okay , i nak meet hym soon , before my bdy , dyer nak kasy i present la. taaaaaaaapy , skrg dher tak reply....

se mane busy pun he still need to text me whaat . what kind of guy is he ? seriously , i tak phm laaa.... 

if you dunwan talk to me , nor answering my call's and replying my text. why eh ? i dun understand. your leaving , and u dun even wan to spend tyme with me ? oh, i got it , want me see yu nextyear ker? wahduh , so cruel ! 

if you treat me like your enemry , can tell me why ? haish . peragaaai perrrrrrrrrrrrr ! 

do you think of me now ?? if really  u wan to avoid me or make me ur enemry , can tell whaat. 

seriouslyyy , how to not think , if everything is negative ? haishh , seriouslyy . mcm maneq nyh ?  

ohh im nothing to you ker ? 

atiq , yu suker , buat i rase insecure ! ><

taper , patience is the answer , perhap , i tgu . ;'> althought i hate waiting , but if it worth it then shall waaaaaaait. ;'> 

 bdyy ai daa dkt nyh , nak present taw.

hmmm , sissy called , asked to sleep over , 

steamboat uh . best nyhh. 

rudyyyyyy dtg ruma perhap ? naq3 ? hehehe. ;D 

guddnye for noww. keep smiling.

we shall see. ;/